Add Decider on Google Where to Stream: Desert Warrior Powered by Reelgood More On: Anthony Mackie What Movie Should I Watch Tonight? ‘The Night Before,’ an Underseen Christmas Comedy on Peacock ‘Twisted Metal’ Episode 10 Sneak Peek: Calypso Takes Grimm’s Spirit and Confuses Stu and Mike New Shows & Movies To Watch This Weekend: ‘My Oxford Year’ on Netflix + More Stream It Or Skip It: ‘Twisted Metal’ Season 2 On Peacock, Where John Finds Out About His Past, And A Tournament For Drivers Gets Ugly Alas: the story surrounding Desert Warrior (now on Hulu) is far more compelling than its semi-historical saga of oppression and rebellion. The Saudi Arabian production was formulated to be a new cornerstone of the country’s movie industry. Marvel Cinematic Universe star Anthony Mackie was cast to headline, with support from up-and-comer Aiysha Hart (the upcoming The Thomas Crown Affair remake), and Ben Kingsley, in a rent-a-star cameo. Accomplished Hollywood director Rupert Wyatt (Rise of the Planet of the Apes) led the charge. Filming occurred all the way back in 2021, post-production dragged on, Wyatt quit and came back. A whopping $150 million was spent on the film, which subsequently grossed $733,000 at the box office. Which means this is a classic case of a theoretical warts-and-all making-of documentary being a better watch than the final product.
The Gist: Title card: 1,500 YEARS AGO. Pause. Second title card: ARABIA. More title cards: OK, I really should stop there and just summarize how the country was overthrown by the Emperor Kisra (Kingsley), who demanded that all the daughters of former kings be enslaved as his concubines. Not cool, bro. Cut to: the middle of the desert. A bandit known only as Bandit (Mackie) makes his way across the land, a nomad with a couple of camels and not much else. He encounters Princess Hind (Hart) and her father, King Numan (Ghassan Massoud), desperately making their way across the arid sands, on the run from Kisra’s band of thugs, led by the merciless warrior Jalabzeen (Sharlto Copley). A tribe led by Hani (Sami Bouajila) offers the trio shelter, despite the authoritarian threat to their peace. It’s a matter of honor — which means they keep Hind and Numan and banish Bandit, because he’s a disreputable bandit. But is he more than that? He’s played by Anthony Mackie, a superhero in other movies. Of course he’s more than that.
Jalabzeen returns to the Emperor, who, between watching gladiator battles like he’s fired up YouTube TV’s multiview split-screen NFL presentation, blankly orders him to get his ass back out there and fetch his would-be sex slave. Is she the face that launched a thousand camels, horses, and battle elephants? Pretty much. Meanwhile, Hind participates in a rather convoluted rigamarole of reuniting with Bandit, and working with him and Hani to visit neighboring tribes and get them to set aside their differences so they can form a ragtag band of rebels and fight Kisra’s forces. There’s lotsa talking and debating and diplomacy and such before the big clash fills the final half-hour of the movie. I mean, it’s tradition, sitting through some boring stuff before you get to the exciting stuff. But maybe there’s too much boring stuff in this one.
What Movies Will It Remind You Of? It seems ridiculous to compare something so blah to Lawrence of Arabia, but it’s hard to not notice some of the references. Other moments recall Gladiator, and it’s hard not to draw a parallel between Kisra and the ghoulish dictator Immortan Joe from Mad Max: Fury Road.
Performance Worth Watching: He’s given a disappointingly one-dimensional character to play, but Copley is the only thing remotely memorable about the film.
Our Take: As we learned by watching some movies that Kevin Costner directed, putting all that money on the screen does not guarantee a memorable experience. Objectively, Desert Warrior looks terrific, with its real cast of thousands riding real horses and real camels into battle against the real backdrop of the Arabian desert, re-enacting a version of the real-life Battle of Ze Qar. It’s obvious that Wyatt and an army of producers and four screenwriters wanted this to be an old-school epic with a few modern flourishes (most notable in the quick-cut editing style) – soundstages and CGI are kept to a minimum, used only when necessary, as cinema traditionalists insist it should be. And cinema traditionalists are absolutely correct on that point.
But all that effort doesn’t mean much in the service of a lousy screenplay. This one is full of dull dialogue and an overcomplicated and ultimately confusing narrative that doesn’t seem to be sure if it wants to be a grand epic or a pared-down story of a rebellion against tyranny; the feminist undertones of an army led by a would-be queen against an amoral despot who enslaves women are at best fleeting, ground up in the film’s broader ambitions. And the cast is far from inspired — Mackie and Kingsley give paycheck performances, and many here seem to be playing a round of What Accent Is That Anyway? — therefore rendering any potential emotional impact dull and muted. In theory, Desert Warrior ain’t a bad idea, but in execution, it’s a drag.
Our Call: Desert Warrior left us feeling deserted. SKIP IT.
John Serba is a freelance film critic from Grand Rapids, Michigan. Werner Herzog hugged him once.
