Elder law attorneys reveal exactly what to do when you catch a caregiver stealing from a parent with dementia Christy Bieber Thu, November 5, 2026 at 7:30 AM EST 4 min read AMZN +2.01% Trade AMZN on Coinbase Trading disclosure Trading disclosure The above button links to Coinbase. Yahoo Finance is not a broker-dealer or investment adviser and does not offer securities or cryptocurrencies for sale or facilitate trading. Coinbase pays us for certain activity generated through this link. Prices displayed are informational.
In the United States, around 1 in 9 people age 65 or older has clinical Alzheimer's dementia, according to the Alzheimer's association. The cost of caring for these dementia patients is astronomical, with Medicare and Medicaid expected to pay around $263 billion for healthcare and long-term care in 2026.
Hiring a caregiver for a loved one is meant to bring peace of mind and support to families during an already difficult time. Unfortunately, this may not always be the case. Let's say that Ted hired a caregiving agency but caught one of his dad's caregivers, Pete, using his dad's credit card to make unauthorized Amazon purchases.
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Now, Ted is left wondering whether he should confront Pete directly or take a different approach.
Ted is understandably upset after catching Pete using the card for his own purposes, and he likely feels justified in confronting Pete after witnessing the credit card misuse.
"Finding this out can be very upsetting, especially when you have trusted someone to care for your father," Tiffany O'Connell, founder and elder law attorney at O'Connell Law, told Moneywise. "I would take it seriously and act promptly."
However, this doesn't mean approaching Pete directly.
"Don't confront the caregiver right now, because first you will want to make sure you have evidence," Roger Diefendorf, an attorney at Forum & Lex, P.C., told Moneywise. "Access the Amazon account to take screenshots of the order history and make sure to review the shipping addresses to see who actually got the benefit."
Ted also may want to avoid confronting Pete due to the risk of a physical altercation or violence. Pete may get aggressive when he's called out, which could put Ted in danger. A fight between the two also likely wouldn't accomplish the ultimate goals of ensuring the victim is compensated for the theft and that the thief is held accountable.
Rather than taking the risks of a direct confrontation, Ted should follow an established protocol in place in most areas for dealing with this kind of behavior.
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Ted can and should take appropriate action, because the caregiver's behavior is not OK.
"This is a sign of potential elder financial exploitation by the caretaker," Patrick Simasko, an elder law attorney and financial advisor at Simasko Law, told Moneywise. "You must act immediately in order to protect your father."
"Report the issue to your local police department," Diefendorf urged. Unauthorized credit card use is a crime, and penalties can be determined based on the amount stolen.
If the caregiver came from an agency, Barry E. Janay, founder of The Law Office of Barry E. Janay, P.C., stressed the importance of alerting the agency immediately and potentially recovering losses from them. "The agency likely is bonded, and that insurance should cover theft," he said.
Janay said to make a clear demand for repayment, even if the agency pushes back. "It's a good idea to pay an attorney to get out that demand letter," Janay told Moneywise. "These agencies are regulated by the state and the license is very valuable to them. Any theft by an aide can affect their good standing."
Simasko also recommended that Ted first confirm none of the Amazon purchases were actually being made for his father. Then, Ted should cancel, freeze or replace credit cards, save statements and receipts, and get help from Adult Protective Services.
Finally, he said Ted should consider obtaining financial and medical power of attorney so he can better protect his dad's assets in the future.
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This article originally appeared on Moneywise.com under the title: Elder law attorneys reveal exactly what to do when you catch a caregiver stealing from a parent with dementia
This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.
