Make New York Post a Preferred Source Gerrit Cole, taking a break during a workout on Friday in St. Petersburg, Fla., will be the Yankees' Game 1 starter in their ALDS battle vs. the Rays on Saturday. © Luis Santana/Tampa Bay Times via ZUMA Press Wire) A laugher from Stitches Secretary of Comedy Don Reed as we get ready for Round Two: … A man and his girlfriend die in a car wreck and meet Peter at the Pearly Gates. Peter says, “Welcome to heaven! Any questions?”
The man replies, “Yes, my girlfriend and I never had a chance to get married while we were alive. Can we get married in heaven?”
Peter replies, “That’s a good question. I’ll get back to you with an answer.” So the couple waits … and waits.
Six weeks later, Peter returns and says, “OK, good news! Yes, you can get married in heaven. Enjoy eternity together!”
The couple then asks, “One more thing. Eternity is a long time. If things don’t work out can we get a divorce in heaven?”
Peter throws up his hands and says, “It took me six weeks to find a priest up here. Do you have any idea how long it will take to find a lawyer?”
Series picks: $50 on the Yankees, White Sox, Dodgers and Padres.
Game 1 pick: $50 on Gerrit Cole and the Yanks. Down -95 pepitones as we lean into round two.
The one and only Stitches has been handicapping baseball, daily, for the Post since 2019. Miraculously, he has finished in the black twice. But wait there’s more. He showed his versatility by winning the Post’s NFL Best Bet crown last year.
