‘Even though you’re doing an exercise class, there’s that informal aspect where you are having a bit of a joke and a laugh.’ Photograph: Thomas Barwick/Getty ImagesView image in fullscreen‘Even though you’re doing an exercise class, there’s that informal aspect where you are having a bit of a joke and a laugh.’ Photograph: Thomas Barwick/Getty Images‘Amazing community’: how people are making new friends and connections as adultsAs concern about loneliness and social isolation grows, we spoke to people who have joined groups and set up activities
Amid growing concern about loneliness and social isolation, new research from the Institute for Public Policy Research found the number of young people in England with no close friends has risen fivefold since 2014, with one in 20 now reporting having none at all.
Making new friends as an adult is not always easy. We spoke to people who have taken deliberate steps to make new connections about what worked for them.
View image in fullscreenRhiannon with one of her creations that she made at Yarners. Photograph: Rhiannon D’AvercFor Rhiannon, a 35-year-old ghostwriter from East Sussex, joining a local knitting and crochet group has become “a lifeline” after separating from her husband and moving a few towns away, and finding connections harder to maintain.
In February, she joined the Yarners, a weekly group in Mayfield. Having only started crocheting a month earlier, she was “absolutely terrified” they would judge her for being a beginner. “But they didn’t care.”
The group quickly became an important part of her life. “No matter what is happening at home, I know for two hours a week I can just sit in a calm and supportive space with people who share my hobby. It’s more than just a group. It’s a real community.”
Having local friends to rely on is one of the biggest perks. “If I needed something, if I was in trouble in some way, I’ve now got people I could actually call and say: ‘Hey, can you help me?’”
View image in fullscreenRia started a club to bring people together over coffee. Photograph: Ria VaghelaRia, 27, moved from Mumbai to London five years ago, but after later moving to Reading, she found it harder to maintain the friendships she had made in the capital.
“I faced acute loneliness,” says Ria, who now works in mergers and acquisitions in London. “When people move away from their home, it gets tough at this age to make friends.”
In May, she created a WhatsApp group to bring her London friends together. It soon expanded through friends of friends and Instagram. “It just blew up. There are 70 people in the group now.”
The London Coffee Club holds meetups in cafes for groups of five to 10. “I’m slightly introverted, so I don’t prefer big groups. It’s a relaxed vibe. There’s no agenda.”
View image in fullscreenRebecca missed informal office conversations. Photograph: RebeccaWorking from home left Rebecca, a 31-year-old NHS project support officer in Bristol, missing everyday social interaction. “I completely underestimated how much I would miss face-to-face contact, even informal conversations such as, ‘How was your weekend?’”
A few months ago, she joined exercise classes at her local leisure centre “as a way to make friends”. Although “absolutely terrified” at first, she now attends pilates, weights and body conditioning classes about three times a week.
“Even though you’re doing an exercise class, there’s that informal aspect where you are having a bit of a joke and a laugh. Working from home, you don’t get that sort of office banter. To me, this is my new equivalent.”
Rebecca has also met a new friend through Bristol Girls, a local Facebook group, and encouraged her to join the classes. “She’s helping me, and I’m helping her,” she says.
View image in fullscreenBen and a co-star in a production of Private Lives in 2023. Photograph: Paul HoodAfter leaving his job as a primary school teacher Ben, 35, suddenly had more free time so thought he would use it to “meet new people” and get back into stage performance.
“It was something I loved at school and at university,” says Ben, who lives in Gateshead and works in education.
In 2017, he joined the People’s Theatre in Newcastle upon Tyne, a non-professional community theatre company, and has since performed in about 20 productions.
“The first year was non-stop as I jumped from play to play and met so many fantastic people,” he says. “It’s been nearly a decade, and I count some people, even people I only met less than a year ago, as some of my closest friends.”
The friendships now extend well beyond rehearsals and performances, with regular social gatherings.
“It’s a huge community, and everyone involved, whether it’s performing, set building, or costume design, does it for the love of it,” he says. “It’s so inspiring.”
View image in fullscreenChris is enjoying revisiting his hobby in a friendly environment. Photograph: Chris/Guardian CommunityChris, 32, says a combination of growing older, the isolation of Covid and having no similarly aged peers at work led to a point where he “essentially had no local friends any more”.
The systems manager from Kent decided to revive his interest in board and card games and found a local games shop holding £3-a-session games evenings. Although “terrified” before his first event, he “couldn’t have asked for a better environment”.
“I feel like it’s not the impossible feat I thought it was to make new friends as an adult on your own,” he says. “The joy it brings me to be able to take part in a fun activity while getting to know people and enjoying good humour is priceless.
“I think it’s vital for mental health for people to have a safe third space where they can develop relationships, skills and experiences without being dependent on work or partners to fill that void.”
View image in fullscreenThe Girls Collective (co-founded by Chloe, holding the phone) recently hosted a pilates event. Photograph: The Girls Collective/GuardianWhen Chloe, 27, moved back to Hertfordshire after living in the Midlands, the change left her feeling lonely.
View image in fullscreenSarah (left) and Chloe created the Girls Collective. Photograph: The Girls Collective/GuardianBut instead of joining a group, she created one.
“All I wanted was just a friend to go for coffee or go to the cinema with,” she says. “I thought, there’s nothing for local women to make local friends. It’s so important to have that community.”
With this in mind, Chloe, a content creator, and her friend Sarah, 30, a nail technician, created the Girls Collective, organising activities where women can meet while trying something new, from keyring making to line dancing.
To drum up interest, they posted content on social media which caught people’s attention.
“We had 65 people for our first event just from our TikTok videos,” she says.
Engaging in an activity, Chloe and Sarah believe, helps to cut through any nerves and awkwardness.
View image in fullscreenA pottery painting event hosted by The Girls Collective. Photograph: The Girls Collective/Guardian CommunityThe group now has 500 women in its community chat, and more than 250 have attended events. “They’ve made their own friendships and hang out outside of us [too], which is brilliant,” says Sarah.
Chloe adds: “I had thought having to move back was the worst thing. But now I’m like, no, because it’s brought me this amazing community.”
