Vice President JD Vance arriving at Joint Base Andrews in Maryland on Aug. 24, 2026. Photo by Anna Moneymaker/Getty Images See more of our coverage in your search results.
Add The New York Post on Google Feeling beach bummed out The summer we never had. Soon schleppers will stop waiting on the curb for that gas-smelling bus to haul them out East.
Bye-bye to outdoor beach clubs — a large pool surrounded by small partners. Jammed with outsized behinds, undersized wallets, card-players and cheaters. Weekends it’s husbands who are trying to swim and grabbing a break from the wives.
Small clubs use a bulletin board. Monday night is usually Dancing Under the Stars. The way NYC’s going, it’s renamed Crouching Under the Umbrella. Tuesday, Dinner Dance. Wednesday: photos of the previous night’s dances. Thursday? More pictures of the previous night’s dances. Friday? Hawaiian Night. Saturday, outdoor folk dancing. Sunday? Dancing class where you’re taught to do whatever you loused up all week.
It’s 100 cabanas but the dining room only seats 65. Aged guests are hard of hearing. The sound system is wired to some owl in a tree. These places spend millions on sand but their guests couldn’t hear a hydrogen blast. Aging dudes only hear their crabby wives — each of whom is blond.
One dude talked about a divorce lawyer who told him divorce is lengthy, expensive — will last longer than we’re in Iran and he should know because this divorce lawyer is himself getting a divorce.
Forget the hills being alive with the “Sound of Music” — the East is alive with the sound of fund-raisers. Every presidential hopeful or even helpful has visited at least one cash register this summer. Doesn’t matter what you’re running — or even walking fast for — could just be to get elected a Boy Scout. If you need to feast you need the East.
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Our bearded VP Vance schlepped in last week. Southampton. Where the beach was alive with the sound of cash registers. Piggy banks were in attention — as were the piggies. No press, no public appearances noted. South Main Street was closed. He raised a few bucks and got out of town.
So, listen, want to interview Elon’s stunning blonde model mother Maye Musk? Easier to creep into her son’s rocket. Your polite request brings back — not from her directly — but from “Maye Musk’s Assistant,” the following:
“See guidelines for the interview.” It then lists “Interview guidelines.” Such as “details” before “I take your request to our team for consideration.” Then come seven rulings:
“1. Send all questions prior to the interview for our team to review. 2. The interviewer has to follow the questions that our team has approved, otherwise the interview will be discontinued. 3. The interview length can not exceed 30 minutes. 4. Is the interview going to be video or audio? Recorded or live? 5. Our time frame for the interviews is 9 a.m.-5 p.m. EST. 6. If it’s a video interview or being broadcast on TV the channel or production company will have to cover styling, hair and makeup expenses of $1,500. 7. The interviewer must read Maye’s book, ‘A Woman Makes a Plan,’ before the interview.”
The White House has just now declared it is immoral to clone human beings — unless, of course, they are major campaign contributors.
Temporarily this is only in NYC or DC. Also maybe Tehran.
