Stephen Neil Hyland Jr.

Lieutenant Colonel, United States Army, working on personnel at the Pentagon. October would have been his twenty-first year in the service.

Twenty years before, he told a friend what he would like on his stone: born with the gift of laughter and a sense that the world was mad. Those who loved him say it fitted him exactly.

His father said you look back and all you think about is him laughing - that when he was in a room everybody gathered round him. He made everyone laugh and never told a joke.

He moved about as a child and the family settled in southern California, where he went to Damien High School. He took a degree in English literature at Notre Dame and was proud of it.

His house at Burke was a hub: the first piece of furniture to arrive when he moved in was a pool table, and a friend said it was not for himself, it was an attraction for friends. Weekends were barbecues and laughter. During the week he took the work seriously - his father said he was so elated to be working at the Pentagon.

His sister said simply: I am proud that Lieutenant Colonel Stephen Neil Hyland is my brother.