time i – xii

time, your pressure – time, your stain. how can i go on now, why can’t i remain

i existed there quite possibly all

of what was left of me, waiting to fall

to rot and waste away, my love

like everything – like everyone does

now i know that this is what

i exist here to do – to die and just decay in the mud

what is the point of all of this – why can’t we all end in bliss

go back to when we first came in. back out the door – reverse all this sin

i’ve lived, bled and yearned in this life

for what, but death, dirt, dust then the sky

what am i waiting for, why must i fight

to live yet another meaningless night

come on please tell me, tell me what

have you got in store for me – please give me your touch

i’ve longed for a path – one that reveals

what i am to do here and one that feels

like i have a purpose – something worth all this pain

let me find it, not just all this stain

time, you unfold like a thing of wonderous beauty

i give my penance – chastise – its my duty

to be the thing that crushes my soul

in this life, time and time again, over and over it goes

to myself, i cannot lose focus. that picture in the mirror, i will always notice

how faded the lines – how blurred what’s exposed

what once was defined, i now am my ghost

i seek absolution, remain here for some purpose that i know not, but one thing’s for sure

i existed at a time – a place that i felt

real, alive and in mind – my own true self

body and soul – it all meshed together. not tearing or faded, like the strongest of tethers

what glorious sound – rejoice all around. i’m floating; glowing, because i’m not bound

bound by this line of time that once was

the dust and the ash, now but dirt and that mud

i spilt blood as time melts away

leaving me with nothing i’ve left to say

eventually learned from situations it seems

as true progress hung suspended in dreams

until that time when it finally comes – surpassing the thing strived for, for so long

it seems as though i had a lot to say

just had too many obstacles in the way

moved them all away from the door

kicked them aside

walked through

now on the next floor

allowing me to see it so clearly like that

no more confusion – torment – in fact

i’ve completely forgotten about all my scars

from all those cuts, they seem so far-off

time, you unfold like a thing of glorious beauty

gave you back my penance – go say you once knew me

fought you until i had noting left

maybe to you, until i take my last dying breath

those marks from the burns that we made together

no longer will be with me forever and ever

no longer taking them to my grave or the after

no longer revealing my choices, paths and disasters

no longer showing the bearing that led me here. now you know not where i’ll reappear

time, you ran out

taking every last ounce of doubt

away from me. knowing what i know now – knowing what i may

need to pursue the rest of my journey

the stuff that i thought before, that i need now not bury

what we had, we shared and i held so dear

thew it all in, everything including that mirror

i need them not, to tell me i’m real

to tell me that i’m worthy – that i’m allowed to feel

time, you tell me now, tell me why i can’t be that thing – you said i shan’t

achieve that thing that i believe i exist to do to fly and say i flew

before i hit the ground and this

time is up, the end amiss

[delete.reset] time is running out for you

better get to all you thought you’d do

in what’s been given, provided by it

its all that’s left for us – all but this

time is on no ones side. there is no time for which to confide

time, you curse – just go live alone

leave me be – leave this home

i have felt you here for far too long

you have taken, terrorized all that i have known

i’ll fight you until i have noting left

until i take my last dying breath

you showed me light, drug me through the dark

you revealed enough for me to part

from anything that i thought was real and true

leaving me with nothing

but to pack up and leave this pace for another

to go on – erase that past that i suffered

through and endured, but barely got through

leaving me with nothing left here to do

lost, broken, reborn, anew

finally, i will go on free of you

this fresh skin i’ve got, to keep

can take anything you throw at me

your line, i reversed you – can’t touch me now

you’ll never, ever touch me – as i shout this aloud

i escape you

finally

leaving me to be what i must be