Album · 2006
The Areas of My Expertise
Tracklist
Disc 1
1
Titles
The Areas of My Expertise
2:54
2
Good Evening
The Areas of My Expertise
14:25
3
About Jonathan Coulton, Contributing Troubadour
The Areas of My Expertise
1:54
4
A Note on Organization / A Note on Sports
The Areas of My Expertise
1:27
5
Table of Contents
The Areas of My Expertise
6:11
6
What Will Happen in the Future / Omens and Portents for the Coming Year
The Areas of My Expertise
1:37
7
Table 1: Omens v. Portents
The Areas of My Expertise
3:58
8
Ragnarok
The Areas of My Expertise
1:47
9
Table 2: Special Long-Term Predictions for Sailors
The Areas of My Expertise
2:11
10
Alternate Method for Predicting the Future
The Areas of My Expertise
2:21
11
On Actuaries and Their Tattoos
The Areas of My Expertise
6:39
12
Information You Will Find Useful in the Present; How to Write a Book / The Fifty-Five Dramatic Situations
The Areas of My Expertise
2:20
13
Table 3: The Fifty-Five Dramatic Situations
The Areas of My Expertise
3:08
14
A Clarification Regarding the Dramatic Situation in Which Humans Fight Animals
The Areas of My Expertise
2:02
15
More Matters Literary: The Six Essentials
The Areas of My Expertise
1:52
16
When Writing, Please Avoid These Failed Palindromes
The Areas of My Expertise
0:41
17
Were You Aware of It?
The Areas of My Expertise
1:41
18
Where to Sell Your Short Stories / Table 4: Where to Market Your Stories That Sound Exactly Like Raunchy Photo Captions
The Areas of My Expertise
0:57
19
Table 5: Other Markets for Your Short Stories
The Areas of My Expertise
2:05
20
Idiosyncracies of the Great Detectives
The Areas of My Expertise
1:43
21
Two Libraries That Are Smaller Than This Book
The Areas of My Expertise
1:48
22
Handy Measurements of Time When You Do Not Have a Watch
The Areas of My Expertise
2:46
23
Table 6: Tipping Guide to the Great Hotels: To Ensure Prompt Service
The Areas of My Expertise
3:50
Disc 2
1
Jokes That Have Never Produced Laughter (feat. Paul Rudd)
The Areas of My Expertise
4:10
2
Government Programs You Can Take Advantage of TODAY
The Areas of My Expertise
1:58
3
Were You Aware of It?
The Areas of My Expertise
0:39
4
Basics of Snow and Ice Warfare
The Areas of My Expertise
1:01
5
Table 7: Classic Ice and Snowballs
The Areas of My Expertise
2:36
6
Hints on Building Snow Forts
The Areas of My Expertise
0:43
7
Diversions for the Asthmatic Child Who Cannot Play in the Snow
The Areas of My Expertise
0:29
8
Were You Aware of It?
The Areas of My Expertise
1:10
9
Top Spots for Crabs
The Areas of My Expertise
4:40
10
Secrets of the Mall of America
The Areas of My Expertise
10:01
11
What You Did Not Know About the Past / History's Worst Men's Haircuts
The Areas of My Expertise
2:23
12
Table 8: Discredited Styles
The Areas of My Expertise
3:44
13
Famous Novels That Were Not Originally Published as Books
The Areas of My Expertise
4:22
14
Were You Aware of It?
The Areas of My Expertise
2:27
15
More Surprising Eponyms
The Areas of My Expertise
0:34
16
Table 9: Great Rivalries in Dungeons & Dragons
The Areas of My Expertise
2:07
17
A Brief Timeline of the Lobster in America
The Areas of My Expertise
6:22
18
Jonathon Colton / Friends of the Furry Old Lobster
The Areas of My Expertise
4:00
19
Films in Which I, John Hodgman, Have Made Cameo Appearances
The Areas of My Expertise
6:36
20
Prohibition Era Euphemisms for Alcohol
The Areas of My Expertise
1:50
21
Were You Aware of It?
The Areas of My Expertise
2:28
22
Table 10 and Table 11: Dog People v. Cat People
The Areas of My Expertise
4:34
23
Were You Aware of It?
The Areas of My Expertise
2:03
Disc 3
1
Beard Manual
The Areas of My Expertise
0:40
2
Table 12: For Expert Barbers Only
The Areas of My Expertise
2:02
3
Some Prophets Who Were Not Actuaries
The Areas of My Expertise
8:58
4
What You Did Not Know About Hoboes
The Areas of My Expertise
7:57
5
Brief Lives of Some Notable Hoboes: Queen Myra Nelson, the Lady Strange
The Areas of My Expertise
2:20
6
Mindbender Steve
The Areas of My Expertise
3:31
7
Karl Malden
The Areas of My Expertise
1:30
8
Hobo Joe Junkpan
The Areas of My Expertise
3:09
9
Bogman Zeke
The Areas of My Expertise
0:53
10
Joey Stink-Eye Smiles
The Areas of My Expertise
7:04
11
Seven Hundred Hobo Names
The Areas of My Expertise
1:22
12
Further Information You Can Use Today: Five Secrets of Successful Negotiation
The Areas of My Expertise
3:26
13
How to Win a Fight
The Areas of My Expertise
2:54
14
Attack Ad #1
The Areas of My Expertise
0:56
15
Attack Ad #2
The Areas of My Expertise
1:12
16
Attack Ad #3
The Areas of My Expertise
1:09
17
'SWUSPOs'
The Areas of My Expertise
4:25
18
Some American Telephone Numbers Beginning With '666'
The Areas of My Expertise
1:05
19
Secrets of Yale University
The Areas of My Expertise
6:52
20
Debated Planets
The Areas of My Expertise
2:09
21
Common Short and Long Cons
The Areas of My Expertise
2:18
22
The Pig in a Poke
The Areas of My Expertise
0:53
23
The Pajama Man
The Areas of My Expertise
2:33
Disc 4
1
The Lenny and Squiggy
The Areas of My Expertise
3:30
2
Three-Card Monte
The Areas of My Expertise
2:53
3
The Vengeful Ninjas
The Areas of My Expertise
4:48
4
Our 51 United States: The States, Their Nicknames and Mottoes, and Other Facts Critical to Safe Travel
The Areas of My Expertise
1:42
5
Alabama
The Areas of My Expertise
1:06
6
Alaska
The Areas of My Expertise
1:14
7
Arizona
The Areas of My Expertise
1:07
8
Arkansas
The Areas of My Expertise
0:43
9
California
The Areas of My Expertise
1:05
10
Colorado
The Areas of My Expertise
1:10
11
Connecticut
The Areas of My Expertise
1:07
12
Delaware
The Areas of My Expertise
1:46
13
Florida
The Areas of My Expertise
0:49
14
Georgia
The Areas of My Expertise
1:09
15
Hawaii
The Areas of My Expertise
1:57
16
Hohoq (also known as Ar)
The Areas of My Expertise
9:33
17
Idaho
The Areas of My Expertise
0:56
18
Illinois
The Areas of My Expertise
1:01
19
Four Dubious Fables of Chicago
The Areas of My Expertise
4:57
20
Indiana
The Areas of My Expertise
1:59
21
Iowa
The Areas of My Expertise
1:48
22
Kansas
The Areas of My Expertise
1:03
23
Kentucky
The Areas of My Expertise
1:10
24
Louisiana
The Areas of My Expertise
1:02
25
Maine
The Areas of My Expertise
1:06
26
Maryland
The Areas of My Expertise
1:13
27
Massachusetts
The Areas of My Expertise
1:33
28
Michigan
The Areas of My Expertise
1:05
29
Minnesota
The Areas of My Expertise
0:54
30
Mississippi
The Areas of My Expertise
1:39
31
Missouri
The Areas of My Expertise
0:44
32
Montana
The Areas of My Expertise
0:51
33
Nebraska
The Areas of My Expertise
1:06
34
Nevada
The Areas of My Expertise
1:24
35
New Hampshire
The Areas of My Expertise
1:12
36
New Jersey
The Areas of My Expertise
1:03
37
New Mexico
The Areas of My Expertise
1:09
38
New York
The Areas of My Expertise
1:12
39
North Carolina
The Areas of My Expertise
1:02
40
North Dakota
The Areas of My Expertise
0:43
41
Ohio
The Areas of My Expertise
1:10
42
Oklahoma
The Areas of My Expertise
1:21
43
Oregon
The Areas of My Expertise
1:37
44
Pennsylvania
The Areas of My Expertise
1:03
45
Fast Facts About Philadelphia
The Areas of My Expertise
2:16
46
Rhode Island
The Areas of My Expertise
1:45
Disc 5
1
South Carolina
The Areas of My Expertise
1:55
2
South Dakota
The Areas of My Expertise
1:03
3
Tennessee
The Areas of My Expertise
1:16
4
Texas
The Areas of My Expertise
1:24
5
Utah
The Areas of My Expertise
1:32
6
Vermont
The Areas of My Expertise
1:22
7
Virginia
The Areas of My Expertise
1:07
8
Washington
The Areas of My Expertise
1:22
9
West Virginia
The Areas of My Expertise
1:20
10
Wisconsin
The Areas of My Expertise
2:23
11
Wyoming
The Areas of My Expertise
1:14
12
Washington, D.C.: The City of Magnificent Distances
The Areas of My Expertise
2:38
13
Table 16: Washington, D.C., as Seen From Great Heights
The Areas of My Expertise
5:24
14
There Is More Past Than You Thought / Nine Presidents With Hooks for Hands
The Areas of My Expertise
2:50
15
Were You Aware of It?
The Areas of My Expertise
1:49
16
Colonial Jobs Involving Eels
The Areas of My Expertise
6:18
17
Six Oaths of the Virtuous Child
The Areas of My Expertise
2:19
18
Were You Aware of It?
The Areas of My Expertise
0:57
19
Utopias
The Areas of My Expertise
1:38
20
The Saw Creekers
The Areas of My Expertise
0:55
21
The Carlsbad Guanists
The Areas of My Expertise
1:24
22
The Kingdom of Central Park
The Areas of My Expertise
1:04
23
Pegleg Island
The Areas of My Expertise
0:37
24
Panasonic Farm
The Areas of My Expertise
0:29
25
How to Raise Rabbits for Food and Fur: The Utopian Method
The Areas of My Expertise
2:25
26
Table 17: Worship v. Weight Table for the Raising of Utopian Rabbits
The Areas of My Expertise
1:54
27
Little-Known Laws of Two American Communities
The Areas of My Expertise
4:26
28
Were You Aware of It?
The Areas of My Expertise
0:38
29
Four Famous Monsters and Their Hunters / Former People's Liberation Army Corporal Hu Zhao-Han and the Tianchi Lake Monster
The Areas of My Expertise
2:34
30
Jesse Lee Bowen and the New Jersey Devil
The Areas of My Expertise
2:02
31
Dan Payton and the Sasquatch
The Areas of My Expertise
2:46
32
The Loch Ness Monster and Col. Robert Wilson
The Areas of My Expertise
6:42
33
Good Morning
The Areas of My Expertise
1:18
34
A Special Bonus Excerpt From My Next Book
The Areas of My Expertise
6:51
35
End Titles
The Areas of My Expertise
2:01
Disc 6
1
Hobo Names 1-100
The Areas of My Expertise
6:55
2
Hobo Names 101-200
The Areas of My Expertise
7:16
3
Hobo Names 201-300
The Areas of My Expertise
6:50
4
Hobo Names 301-400
The Areas of My Expertise
7:27
5
Hobo Names 401-500
The Areas of My Expertise
8:16
6
Hobo Names 501-600
The Areas of My Expertise
8:25
7
Hobo Names 601-700
The Areas of My Expertise
9:33