Survival Is Not a Workout

Billy Mays (Don't Move Here, "It's a Trap")

Courtney Taylor Taylor (How Sexy Is Your Soul?)

Steve Jobs (All Is Fun Until Someone Gets Stabbed)

Marty Anderson (Guitar Hero Material)

Tre Arrow (Thanks for Smoking All My Weed... You Dick)

L. Ron Hubbard (We Did One of These at the Mall)

Phillip Seymour Hoffman ("It's the Wonder of Nature Baby!")

Glenn Beck (Baby Blood Theft)

Tony West

John Steinbeck (Get Off My Phone!!)

Michael Jackson (No... We're Serious)

Karl Marx (A Brief Science of History)

Ted Haggard (The Future Isn't Knocking at Your Door. It's Pounding.)

Dov Charney (Neon Cotton Wormhole)

Yasir Arafat (Spidering Deep Into the Night)