Album · 2004
Reads to You
Tracklist
Disc 1
1
Preface
Reads to You
4:12
2
Air Pollution & Seven Things I'm Tired Of
Reads to You
6:28
3
Food Terms
Reads to You
1:25
4
Well, Ya Gotta Live Someplace
Reads to You
8:01
5
Things You Never See
Reads to You
1:00
6
A Name by Any Other Name
Reads to You
4:27
7
Appropriate Names
Reads to You
2:37
8
The George Carlin Book Club Offer No.1-How to Titles
Reads to You
1:09
9
It's Your Body-Fearless Fashions
Reads to You
8:04
10
I Can't Recall
Reads to You
0:57
11
A Place for Your Stuff
Reads to You
9:56
12
Mental Brain Thoughts
Reads to You
3:48
13
The New Zodiac
Reads to You
1:15
14
Hi Mom!
Reads to You
1:04
15
Baseball and Football
Reads to You
5:24
16
Give a Hoot
Reads to You
0:42
17
Sports Roundup
Reads to You
1:59
18
Fuck You, I Like These Kinds of Jokes
Reads to You
1:48
19
Let's Beat Them With Our Purses!
Reads to You
1:59
20
Do, Take, Have, Give
Reads to You
1:22
21
What's My Motivation
Reads to You
0:46
22
Anything but the Present
Reads to You
5:34
Disc 2
1
First Time Human Sacrifice
Reads to You
12:24
2
Moths
Reads to You
1:00
3
More Random Thoughts (Peacekeeping Force)
Reads to You
1:07
4
Television Announcers
Reads to You
7:21
5
Another Objection on Language
Reads to You
4:11
6
George Carlin Book Club
Reads to You
1:03
7
Deaths of Supercelebrities
Reads to You
2:44
8
The 'Pre' Epidemic
Reads to You
0:46
9
Popular Beliefs Rooted in Familiar Expressions
Reads to You
6:28
10
A Few More Oxymorons
Reads to You
0:42
11
15 Rules to Live By
Reads to You
4:06
12
Expressions (In the Privacy of Your Own Home)
Reads to You
6:36
13
More Redundant Expressions
Reads to You
0:46
14
Peace on You
Reads to You
4:55
15
Watch Your Mouth
Reads to You
6:31
16
Reincarnation (Souls)
Reads to You
0:39
17
My Childhood
Reads to You
5:38
18
Random Thoughts (Recreational Drugs)
Reads to You
4:59
19
Language of Comedy/Goodbye
Reads to You
1:47
Disc 3
1
Forward / Rice Krispies
Reads to You
3:01
2
Cats & Dogs
Reads to You
3:58
3
Last Meal
Reads to You
2:46
4
Rants
Reads to You
4:00
5
Advertising Lullaby
Reads to You
2:03
6
Flying
Reads to You
12:01
7
Sandwich
Reads to You
0:47
8
Cars & Driving
Reads to You
9:52
9
Jesus Christ
Reads to You
10:25
10
Business 10 Steps
Reads to You
0:30
11
Observations
Reads to You
2:20
12
Beliefs
Reads to You
4:54
13
Fussy Eater
Reads to You
4:09
14
Who's the Boss
Reads to You
1:26
15
Warm and Cold
Reads to You
0:47
16
Social Situations
Reads to You
2:15
17
Vitamins
Reads to You
1:02
18
Pandas
Reads to You
0:42
19
Children
Reads to You
6:41
20
Cookies
Reads to You
0:47
Disc 4
1
Driving
Reads to You
7:15
2
Rants
Reads to You
4:32
3
Airport Security
Reads to You
5:45
4
Terrorism
Reads to You
1:24
5
Fear of Germs
Reads to You
5:07
6
Wishing Wells
Reads to You
0:57
7
Sex & Violence
Reads to You
0:51
8
Dogs Don't Care
Reads to You
2:52
9
Just For Fun
Reads to You
1:54
10
Camcorder
Reads to You
1:11
11
Sports
Reads to You
4:18
12
Thoughts & Facts
Reads to You
2:57
13
Bullshit
Reads to You
5:14
14
Death
Reads to You
2:25
15
Blue Food
Reads to You
0:39
16
Declare War
Reads to You
5:54
17
Death Penalty
Reads to You
0:42
18
Thoughts
Reads to You
3:00
19
Supermarket
Reads to You
3:29
20
Legal Advice
Reads to You
1:46
21
Dogs & Forever
Reads to You
2:06
22
Entropy & Disorder
Reads to You
9:17
23
Good Bye
Reads to You
0:18
Disc 5
1
Intro
Reads to You
0:30
2
Tell Claus I Said, 'Hello'
Reads to You
4:32
3
People Who Want to Know the Time
Reads to You
7:30
4
Favorite Period of Time
Reads to You
1:42
5
Asylums
Reads to You
5:01
6
Sports Is Big Business
Reads to You
5:23
7
The Evening News
Reads to You
2:45
8
Icebox Man
Reads to You
3:55
9
Expressions
Reads to You
3:42
10
Greatest Thing Since Sliced Bread
Reads to You
3:42
11
Dogs Come in All Sizes
Reads to You
2:33
12
Abortion
Reads to You
5:25
13
Sanctity of Life
Reads to You
3:29
14
That's a Fine Howdoyado
Reads to You
3:57
15
Airlines
Reads to You
8:39
16
20th Century Hostilities
Reads to You
4:23
17
Telling Time
Reads to You
1:08
18
Little Moments
Reads to You
1:44
19
Falling Asleep
Reads to You
1:00
20
Dogs on TV
Reads to You
0:55
21
Nice Days
Reads to You
2:34
Disc 6
1
Rain. Dances. 007
Reads to You
1:11
2
Ugly Singers
Reads to You
2:02
3
Secretary of Being in the Closet
Reads to You
2:45
4
Avant Garde Play
Reads to You
1:15
5
My Dog
Reads to You
2:51
6
Saying 'Hello'
Reads to You
3:21
7
No Complaining About Politicians
Reads to You
3:03
8
No Brown in the Rainbow
Reads to You
3:01
9
Grandchildren
Reads to You
0:51
10
Meaning of Life
Reads to You
1:24
11
Religious People
Reads to You
6:40
12
Just Before You Die
Reads to You
0:52
13
Euphemistic Language
Reads to You
8:07
14
Rip-Offs
Reads to You
2:45
15
Bumper Sticker
Reads to You
2:53
16
A Proposition
Reads to You
1:41
17
Britain's Return of Hong Kong
Reads to You
0:55
18
Organ Donors
Reads to You
2:19
19
'Tippy'
Reads to You
0:52
20
Free Speech
Reads to You
3:04
21
Comitting the Perfect Double Murder
Reads to You
2:55
22
Fun You Can Have
Reads to You
2:04
23
Latest Disaster
Reads to You
1:20
24
People I Can Do Without
Reads to You
2:05
25
When I Was Young
Reads to You
1:06
26
Angels
Reads to You
2:04
27
Henry the VIII
Reads to You
0:32
28
The Red Sox (Socks)
Reads to You
3:09
29
Quicksand
Reads to You
2:10
30
Retired People
Reads to You
1:03
31
Monopoly
Reads to You
3:44
In print
First pressed 2004, still pressed 2009 — 2 pressings.